play xylophones with me

maybe just this

what sweeter way to be in world

I wonder

than in this unpredictable
colony
of
body 

Exploding Head Syndrome

heard a loud high sound (bee boop) in my ear
technological blip sound hiccup
two nights ago too but I thought it was my old iphone dying in the night
bee boop
bee bup beeeee boupe
 
quietly attribute these vibrations to the spin of 17 chakras
you read that right (you you you wonderful you)
 
I texted my boyfriend to tell him
he lives so far away I can’t just spin myself to whisper right from my sleep warmed mouth
or I live so far away
either way we
are outside of names
 
but anyway
 
I dare you to -be me for a minute and- google
 
AUDITORY HALLUCINATION WHILE SLEEPING
 
and voila
side effect ahem effect amen
 
what sweeter way to be in world, I wonder, than in this
unpredictable
colony
of
body 

On Annoying Social Media and Ovulation

GIRLS birthing a world still find things to complain about
in perfection we complain at what we find
losing bees, swab secretions if born by cesarean
section myself into colonies
 
feeling mittleschmerz I googled mesenchymal
knowing only I was looking for a long word with an m
knowing in womb what starts where
repeating myself again 

Ithaca is as green in spring as white in winter

A tree doesn’t need me to write a book but I need a tree to begin with blank paper.

Oh.

so everything is dharma

Then I am too!

And if a big rock looked at my life

Daughter sister mother wife

What would my being teach?

Not teach, really, more of a, what am I, in the world?

—

Oh dear me, I’m trying to give lessons to rocks.

No matter how I rub a stone

Rub myself into stone

Disconnect the phone

Think of an old fling who loved that movie (phone home).

            I dreamed last night he still loved me

            I think of him as a son or a brother  - our intimacy born of un-otherness

I can’t help being a poet! What brain does.

I really am what I eat!

So I switched to all organic because I have to get back to the earth good and early.

bringing us around

TOUPEE sits outside, outside of sound

I sit at the table that’s like a desk and crave fat – something to sustain me

crave sleep, a nap

he paws at the door in cool gray rain

everyone loves cats, right, because of the internet? which they invented??

when toxoplasmosis             stopped working

for Peter - shiva lingam

even before she gave me the stone

I wanted to write you a poem like the moon
 
the moon is big and beautiful
over a hill, it comes into view
 
yesterday I learned : whether or not the pain comes, I live in a vulnerable body
 
rocks live in moonlight
always a sliver and always an orange expanse
when there is sun in moon
me in you, you, you
you be the tidal pull, I’ll be the pool 

a place to take refuge

I woke up at 3am last night;

Are hearts all connected?

Like how we think (or don’t) of the colony in our gut?

The almost knowing tingle, the unseen hand at my throat, that nauseous need to hug every last one of you. And from one of you to make another one of you.

Bad news makes me want to have babies.

To fill the world with a newborn love.

For Your Mother

I want to buy a rag rug for your mother

Because I imagine

She’ll know the work of weaving

And I want to lay something beautiful at her feet

I’m nervous about Prozac even though it works so good

How big is world

This whole world an inconceivable ache and I am also a world stuck in the stuck of the tiny

I look up star struck

Magnificent bodies, broken

I really am Joan, starving Christian saint, set myself on fire

Or is it just that I finally watched The Hunger Games on Netflix

Deposits of self in self and all of it sacred

Individual earths and yeah, I do like to think of it as a whole functioning universe

A braid of time and am I allowed to talk about race and everything

I’m not afraid

Or I’m not that afraid

Tend to myself, to others, to opening

Like an owl to cock head and wonder whoooo